Autumn Piper - Got romance?

Got romance?

                                                      Romance writer's dictionary

Following is a list of terms the other 3romancers and myself (collectively the 4romancers) have compiled on our journey to publication.

 

Awwwwsome:  adj. Capable of inducing sighs of contentment, purrs of romantic satisfaction, and the gold-standard "awwww". Used to describe a particularly heartwarming scene - especially an ending - in a romance novel.

 

Beditv. To take to one's bed with a stack of hard copy pages or a laptop, with the intent of slicing and dicing one's manuscript. May be accompanied by hair-pulling, grunting, moaning, "aha!"s, "duh!"s, heavy drinking, iPod, and/or appropriate hero lust. A really good excuse to lay abed and simultaneously get one's edits finished. Not to be confused with badit, n., in which perfectly worthy parts of a manuscript are deleted by an overly zealous editing hand and later regretted. Also not to be confused with bed it, v., to sleep on it, or allow the muse to subconsciously direct the plot. e.g. "I am going to bed it and decide what to write tomorrow."

 

Finaleyes: n. a person given the honor of being the last to look over a revised manuscript prior to its submission to an agent, editor, or contest

 

Frian brian: n. the condition of having wild, burning inspiration, resulting in thoughts coming out so quickly they bottleneck at the keyboard. (e.g. “brain” is typed as “brian”)

 

Fuckifiknow: n. often-used name of a flighty muse, also an interjection offered up in response to a question for which we have no certain answer. syn hellifiknow

 

Incorporcritv.  (in-core-pour-crit) to make use of critiques, comments, or suggestions from writing partners and critique pals. see also incorporcrition, n. the act of implementing applicable edits in a manuscript. Can be a lengthy process by which new typos and errors arise, thereby causing the need for still more editing. (See finaleyes.) May result in back or neck fatigue, headache, dead mouse batteries, and in extreme cases, bug eyes. Risky when Hugh Laurie is showing on a TV in the same room. Can include exclamations of "Oh shit!" in reference to those parts of the crit which point out glaring plot problems, as well as the happier, "Ah, I see now."

 

Innerds: n. the inner thoughts of a character, esp. denoting deep point of view

 

Man-angst: n. the innerds particular to a guy who is sporting “a bulge in his trousers” but can’t get laid because he’s trapped in a romance novel as the hero and must, therefore, set aside his lust for higher virtues, even if the object of his desire is bare-ass naked and tied to a bed. syn. Sexual frustration, reluctant values of a horny bugger.

 

Nervous Muse Syndrome: n. malady affecting many writers, whereby the sharing of a work in progress results in paralyzing stage fright and loss of inspiration (also known as NMS, not to be confused with PMS)

 

Plotsticker:  n. a mental pitstop regarding a particular element of a story, i.e. a plot-twist, historical fact, or event, which slows the momentum of or completely halts a work in progress. Usually requires extensive research, (see procrastolating and screwing off in general) as well as lengthy internet chats on the subject. A plotsticker can hinder to the point of long-term mental disability, given the right climate and time to flourish. Anti-venoms include but are not limited to: staring off into space for undefined intervals, self-induced quarantine, excessive chocolate as reward for brainstorming, skipping over said detail of story (see also plothole), hitting the Delete key until it snaps, a week off from writing, acupuncture, walking, staring for long hours at photos of Johnny Depp/Enrique/Orlando Bloom/any male actor from Desperate Housewives, tweezing eyebrows, housecleaning, or - most effective of all- being entirely too busy to sit down and write a single sentence. This last remedy is nearly always guaranteed to cause a plot breakthrough. ant: inspiration  syn.: (the dreaded)writer's block

 

Procrastolating: v. present tense, the act of using any and all excuses at hand to avoid writing, esp the writing of a synopsis. Examples: chatting online, reading blogs, playing PC solitaire, inventing errands or cleaning chores which require immediate attention such as running to the store for this year’s Christmas cards (in May) or dismantling the kitchen faucet to remove mineral deposits. This term is not a 4romancers original; it came to us through other romance writing friends.

 

Queen: n. A writer, not necessarily of noble blood (although considered royal by her friends), who excels at certain areas of writing, e.g. Queen of Transitions, Queen of Description, Queen of Romantic Sex Scenes, Queen of Characterization. Can rule more than one realm at any time, and often does.

 

Scarcasm: n, Glib humor employing irony at the expense of another, sometimes but not always with malicious intent.

 

SHF Moment: n. Shit Hits Fan Moment, also known as the dark moment, a pivotal turn of plot for the hero and heroine

 

Synopsis: n. (considered a foul term in certain circles) document summarizing a story, usually a means by which editors, agents, and contest administrators persecute and generally torture writers. Can cause varying degrees of anguish, depending upon required length. Known symptoms include sweating, swearing, object throwing, tears, general malaise, crankiness similar to PMS, and in some cases repeated making of the sound "ack!" Those individuals able to create a synopsis without difficulty remain a marvel to most writers.

See also: synopsisisisisisis, sucknopsis, 4-letter words.

 

Woohoo: n. an exclamation signifying praise, often accompanied by excitement and the “happy dance”, given in congratulations to writing friends. Not to be confused with “whoohah” or “yoohoo”, nouns referring to the female reproductive organs, specifically the vagina.

 

 

 

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